Just a current state of mind.

haiz..my blog seems dead. just like my brain. haiz.

It have been kind of hectic these days. 1 or 2 days out of 7, i reached home before 5pm. The rest of the other days r just filled with stuffs and more stuffs.

I really like hanging out, cos it's something i enjoyed doing, especially when everything around me seems like they ae going on forever and ever. sometime i felt that 'im running out of time' and ' there is always plenty of time' these two statements really got me to reflect on what i have been doing with my own time and, as you know, there is always a negative side and a positive side to it. Experience gain, hw not done. I felt contended, hw not done. im happy, hw not done. I exercised, hw not done. Im better at EQ, hw not done. i felt relaxed, hw not done.I looked back and i hated it. Everything is LINK back to my school works. Might as well be cos this yr IS my Very Important year, my o'lvl. I SHOULD be concentrating on my studies All the way till it is over, but that is not right either becos everything have to be balance, fun and studies. Like and dislike. Ying and yan..crap.haiz i feel better typing it all down. I find myself rude and not myself lately, i feel weird. im too strict, im too stress and its blocking me from being myself.This is how i am went im down...deep deep down in the unhappiness memories. But when im happy and very very optimistic, i sing and dance and i jokes and i laugh and i dont have gastric pain and i felt really really good with myself. it cant be help really, when im nice, ppl just dont appreciate it. and there im pulled back into the evil memories of all the unhappiness in my own world.

hmm, its quite late. i think im gonna sign out. when im happy and someone spoiled it, i think i will just have to insult and be rude to them. playing nice doesnt work all the time. i must be really nuts.

p.s sometime even the most wise and patience person will, sooner or later, eventually expolde.